Shiny Friday
by LyricalAngelFangirl
Summary: A bunch of one-shots and stories set after the best ending of the game.
1. Pepe: Biography

_Welcome to the first chappie of Shiny Friday! This is a collection of one shots about Atelier Annie. Most of them take place after the Best ending, but if not, I'll put a notice up saying after Normal or Bad or whatever ending. But I love the Best ending…best, so that's what I'm mostly going to work with. I will also let you know if it's during a playthrough or whatever. _

_~Shiny Friday~_

Pepe could write an entire biography about his pupils, how they had all changed and matured into a better person with the help of alchemy, how they had become the world's greatest alchemists, how they have even changed his life. But none of them could really top Annie's story. Each story had been different and special, but it seemed that only her's could really stand out.

She had arrived in the workshop sound asleep. It seemed impossible to wake her up, and that was difficult to deal with at first. She seemed confused and unaccepting of the situation at hand, wanting to go home back to her parents, to continue as she always had, but Pepe remembered Old Man Bentner's words. _Train her hard._

When she heard about the contest and the prizes, this seemed to give her a little more motivation and a reason to stay on the island and train. But he and Annie's supervisor, Hans, would constantly have to remind her to stay on task. She got a little too distracted easily. But that all changed when a couple years later, she was doing it because she wanted to, not because she had to in order to win her prize. Her prize ended being the work itself.

Not only that, but she seemed to appreciate the friends she made, instead of envying to be by the prince's side. Even the seemingly snotty Julian couldn't help but be nice to her when he saw her on the street. How much had everyone changed?

Not only that, but she seemed to be getting closer to Hans. They'd always be in the other's pocket, doing favors and such, but they never seemed to hold a grudge. When Pepe had asked Annie about what she had thought of Hans, she said he had no character, he was too stiff, and she couldn't stand to be around him all the time. But now that he was helping out with whatever he could, she didn't seem to mind.

Pepe didn't think it would be possible, but Annie finally realized her life-long dream, and although he would have to leave someday for her to continue on that path, they would still have a few battles to conquer for now.

Basically, he was stuck with her for now. But he didn't care. Coming to Sera Island was the best thing to happen to him, even if he said otherwise.

_~Shiny Friday~_

_It was kind of lame if you ask me, but I thought it would be nice to start with a self-reflection piece on Pepe's part, seeing as he was the first person Annie met. (Hans was second… but don't worry, I will be writing Hannie soon.)_

_I think I'll be focusing on this, and then on my other oneshot collection 'Baby Blocks,' I'm also not sure when I'll be able to update again. I have finals, two on Monday, one on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons, and one on Friday morning. I have to get studying like crazy. (Especially for Geometry… *sigh*)_

_I might get to writing a full length story soon, but I have other projects and limited time to work on them, so for now, this is all I have. I'll try to update soon…._

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	2. Hans, Liese and Kyle: Lesson

Hans sighed, making his way down the street, occasionally stepping into puddles. It seemed that he knew this road a little too well…

Then again, it was where his life on Sera Island had _truly_ begun. Encountering Annie Eilenberg would eventually lead to some of the biggest changes in his life and his perspectives of it.

That one April morning, he had dragged her off to the opening ceremony, and until that fated March afternoon, they would be stuck working together developing the island. Not that he didn't mind that so much…

He knocked on the door, its dulled doorknob still so familiar to that first day…

"Come in!" The voice was familiar, but not the one he was used to hearing. He should have realized that, but it was too late.

"What are you two doing…?" The blonde haired mechanic had been pouring tea into the crimson haired alchemist's cup. "Should you really be…?"

"Oh, good morning Hans! I haven't seen you in a while. How have things been?"

"Um… just great. You still didn't-"

"Great? That's it? Haven't you-?"

"Now, now, Liese," Kyle gestured Hans to take a seat, and started pouring some tea for him, "We shouldn't ask about Hans and his relationships."

They did not expect the bewildered look on Hans' face. "What are you talking about? Relationships…? I haven't-"

"You mean you aren't going out with Annie?"

"Wha-? No! Why do you care so much?"

Liese smirked, which could only mean one thing. Hans was going to regret asking. "You see Hans, Annie is like my little sister and if you hurt her… I have to send Kyle after you."

"Aww, why me?"

"Honey, be quiet. Anyway, if you don't make the first move, she'll never bite."

Hans was still not getting the point. "I'm sorry, but I don't-"

"Understand?" Liese stood up from the table. "Allow me to verify." She pulled the chalkboard that was in the backroom up to the two visitors, and began to write something with the chalk.

**First Date Tips**

**#1 Make the first move**

"This should be self-explanatory. Just ask her out, or she'll never know. You can't expect someone else to make the move for you. If you want it, you have to go for it yourself, or you'll have to go the rest of your life wondering what would have happened. Tell me, do you really want that?" Kyle was nodding his head at all the points he had agreed with. "You are taking notes, right?"

"Does mentally count?"

Liese sighed, "I suppose… next lesson."

**#2 First dates should not be too romantic**

"Contrary to popular belief," Liese began again, "First dates shouldn't be too romantic. You might turn the person off and they might think you're rushing into things."

"Why would they think that?"

Kyle raised his hand, going "Oooh, ooh! Pick me, pick me!"

"Yes Kyle?"

Kyle cleared his throat, before giving his speech. "Well, if your first date is too impressive, the second date will be harder to top. This is why they should always be kept simple! Going for a walk in the park, getting some coffee… stuff like that!" His reward was a pat on the head.

"Very good. Lesson number-"

But before she could begin her third lesson, the doorknob was beginning to turn. Annie was home…

"Kyle, erase everything on here, and put it back. Hans… do something in character!"

Before he could ask, the door was open, and Kyle had left and returned in the blink of an eye. "Welcome home!" Liese said nervously.

"Once again, we are welcomed in our own home…" Pepe mumbled.

"I can see why Liese and Kyle would do something like this…" Annie's gaze shifted to Hans, "But why are you-?"

"They were already here before I was…"

"Oh." She didn't seem angry, though she was a bit surprised. "As for you two, I thought I told you to stop breaking and entering and… Are you having tea!"

"Maybe…" Kyle responded guiltily.

"Get. Out." She spat. Before they could leave, Annie pulled Hans by the collar. "Not you. You can stay." Though she had closed the door, she could hear Liese's giggles from the other side. "Okay, they are starting to creep me out…"

Meanwhile, Liese managed to drag Kyle to get coffee. "How long do you think it'll take for him to ask her out?"

"I'm not sure… Let's ask a magic eight ball!"

She sighed, taking her keys out and handing him the key chains. She knew at this point about how much he obsessed over magic eight balls…

"Ok, magic eight ball!" He grinned like an idiot, "Will Hans ask Annie out today!"

**Please ask again…**

"Aw man! I guess we'll just have to wait."

She smiled. "Yeah. I guess we will."

_~Shiny Friday~_

_Finally got down to writing something again! Whoot!_

_Finals are a killer! Can't wait for break! I have my math one today! Oh nooooo!_

_(Heheheh. Implied KylexLiese FTW. Bet you didn't see that coming. :) They kind of reminded me of AngelaxHodgins…)_

_Anyway, it was hard to decide what to write for this chapter. I wanted to do something between Annie and Bentner, or Hans and Liese, and chose the latter, because Liese seems to be looking out for Annie and Hans all the time, and thought she deserved some spotlight. (She's kind of like the Buffy to his Giles, type of thing?) 'Sides, she's also the person who gives the advice, and seemingly has an understanding of romance and such, so I had to include that. (Also, she had her own game, but it had problems, and therefore, I thought it should be fair that she get spotlight anyway.)_

_I'm planning to do Hannie next, because that is the obvious pairing in the entire game. And, this collection is a lot less shiny without Hannie. It's also the main reason why I wrote this collection; I wanted an idea of what happens between Annie and Hans, since the best ending leaves their relationship at an open-ended point. (Same for all the other characters… I want to know more!)_

_See ya next time!_

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	3. Annie and Hans: Ten Questions Each

"Okay, your turn."

"Me again?"

"Yeah, I already answered your question."

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that…" Annie sighed. It was pouring outside, and no way did she want to risk getting drenched. She was waiting for Hans to come over, as he once again owed her a favor. So, she made him spend the day with her in the workshop. She also made him bring the ingredients. So it was all good.

"Why are you ignoring me?"

She blinked, not quite sure what was going on. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you answering me with a question! That's not the point of twenty questions!"

She laughed nervously, "Sorry Pepe, I forgot."

"Pffft. Forgot. More like daydreamed about lover boy."

Annie's reaction was a cross of embarrassment, confusion, and anger. "What are you talking about!"

"Ah, I can't answer that. You exceeded your question count."

"Don't ignore me!" They were so involved with the conversation, that they didn't even notice the door open and Hans walked right on in. Annoyed, he watched the two continue to bicker without the slightest of acknowledgement. There was only one to solve this.

"Oh my gosh! Who turned out the lights!" What she didn't realize was that it was just a pair of hands over her eyes. "Pepe!"

"Guess who?" The "mysterious" voice's breath trickled on her neck, leaving Annie to be very, very scared.

"Uh… is it the delivery guy?"

"No."

"Annie, you've already exceeded your question count!" Pepe blatantly pointed out.

"I'm sorr-y!" She responded sarcastically, "Ok, well if it's Hans, then I was right."

"How are you right?"

"Because Hans was supposed to deliver stuff! He _owes _me."

His expression changed back to a stiff poker face, "So now you've degraded me to a delivery boy!"

"Aha! I knew it was you!" She laughed victoriously, only to retreat after seeing how mad he was. "A-Anyway, let's play twenty questions…"

It took large amounts of persuasion, pouts, and pure focus to get Hans to play with her. He finally gave in, and Pepe left in the middle of his first question, claiming to take care of the shop.

"What's your favorite color?"

"…Blue."

She blinked, confused. "You're saying that as if you're not sure."

"I'm absolutely sure." Was his response. "What's yours?"

"Umm… Purple?"

"And you thought I was unsure. You're not supposed to answer with a question."

"Oh my gosh!" She huffed, "Do you and Pepe secretly meet in the middle of the night and talk about ways to annoy me or something!"

"Yes Annie," He started, "We also get Kilbert and Gillian involved and you know what? Kyle isn't a mechanic."

"Oh really?"

Poker face number three. "You're too gullible. And you've already wasted four of your questions."

"I did not!" Pause. "Did I?"

"Yes. And now you're down to five."

"Awww… Now what am I supposed to ask?" She covered her mouth in realization of what she just asked.

He cleared his throat before he sighed heavily. "Anything you want. Four questions."

"Man, why am I so bad at this game!" She banged her head on the desk.

"Because you keep asking questions about asking questions. Three."

"And you know what?" She stood up, hands on her hips, not please, "How come _you _haven't asked any questions?"

"Because I haven't gotten the chance to. One."

"There's no way I have only one question left!"

"Oh really?" He asked, serious as always, "You did just ask 'You know what?' right?"

"Ha!" She cheered. "You just wasted two of your questions! Now we're even."

"No. I have eight. You have one. How is that even?"

"Ha! Seven!" She added in, "And shut up."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Six! And I don't care."

"Really?"

"Five! And yes."

He paused for dramatic effect. "Do you know why I'm asking these questions?"

"Um, no." She replied, lounging on the couch upside down. "Four."

"Good."

"That's not a question."

"I never said it was."

"You're so frustrating!"

"So are you."

She scowled. "That's it!" It had gone too far, but what Annie was about to do was unexpected. She slammed the door open, dragging Hans outside into the rain. "Sweet revenge!"

"This is revenge how? You're getting yourself drenched, too."

"Because I made you waste another question! Hahaha! Now you're down to three."

He rolled his eyes at her current 'victory.' Obviously Pepe had exerted her and she had not been outside the workshop in days. "Have you been outside recently?"

"Yeah. Right now. Two." The silence engulfed them as Annie calmed down from her spaz attack. The rain seemed to have a calming effect, but really it was the cold that was making Annie freeze up.

"Are you cold?"

No response. Just a shiver. And before he knew it she grabbed a hold of his hand. "Sorry… do you mind?"

"No… Do you?"

She smiled back, moving closer. "Not at all."

_Shiny Friday_

_That was intense to write! Now I feel like one of the writers for the game. So much dialogue! _

_Man, Annie and Hans really need to keep track of the questions they ask. xD_

_Check my profile! I have new ideas for stories, and I want to hear your opinion!_

_BTW, I kind of feel like I'm Annie now. O.o My little brother would be Pepe, my friends would be Liese, Fitz, Kyle, and Beaux. I'm not sure if I've met someone quite like Hans. All in all, it's very strange. _

_Next chapter is already planned. Now, I've got to write it!_

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	4. Annie, Liese, and Fitz: Stories

"Say Liese..." The tomboy alchemist tapped the older, girlier one's shoulder, looking a little embarrassed. "Remember a while back you said you were going to, uh, … teach me about love?"

Liese dropped the book she was reading, but she seemed like she perked up. "Ironic that you would bring that up. I have the perfect legend to tell you about."

Annie shot her a confused look. "What do legends have to do with this? I thought you were going to-"

Liese's eyes started to tear up, "Annie… I've always wanted to tell these stories to someone like you… someone who considers me their big sister… won't you let me tell them?"

Before she could answer, the door swung open, and in came Fitz, agitated and pouting. "Hmph. I hate boys. They are so stupid."

"Fitz! You're just in time for the story I was about to tell." Liese was hoping the girl would be interested.

And she was for a slight second, "What kind of story?"

"Oh, silly romantic legends."

She returned to her brooding. "I'll only listen if Annie does too."

"Then it's settled!" Liese grinned.

Annie's face twitched; dissatisfied that she was being dragged into a situation. "I-I never agreed to this, you know." But it was too late. Liese was starting to tell her tale, and she would stop at nothing until they were told.

"Now, this story takes place in ancient times. Before any of us were born." Liese was holding a candle in her hands, dimming the light in the rest of the room, to give the story more of an edge. "Back when people had two heads and four legs."

Annie and Fitz looked at each other in disbelief, before laughing. "I feel bad for my ancestors then. How could they do anything?"

"Ahem," Liese huffed, "As I said, they had two heads and four legs. And then, the ancient god Zeus shot down thunderbolts and separated them into halves. One head, two legs."

"Who's Zeus?" Annie asked, completely off topic.

Liese let out a soft sigh. It would take forever to tell her story at this rate. "Zeus is an ancient god in certain cultures. Of course, he's considered a myth now."

"Oh, ok." Annie smiled and nodded, showing she understood. Fitz yawned, looking disinterested.

"The separation made the people feel lonely, and they wished," She brought the candle a little closer to her face, loosened her grip, and closed her eyes. Annie and Fitz came closer, interested in what would happen next, "To be reunited. Because when they were split in half, their soul became halves. And thus, when the lovers were brought back together, their soul would become one yet again. And that is why people spend their entire lives looking for someone; they are looking for the remaining half of their soul."

Annie was simply breathless, mesmerized by the depth of the story. Fitz was still pouting, visibly upset. Secretly, she thought the story was amazing, but it was kind of hard to believe that she only had half of a soul, and there was someone out there with the other.

Breaking the silence, Annie questioned Liese, "How long have you known this story?"

Liese stood up, blowing the candle out after opening the windows and letting light back into the room. "I was just a little girl when I heard this story. A very handsome prince told it to me." She sat herself down in Annie's favorite chair, cup of tea in her hands.

Fitz gave her a very menacing glare, but she didn't seem to mind. "Where did he hear it from?"

Liese chuckled nervously, "Probably from his parents. Why are you-"

"Have you found your other half of soul?" Annie pressed.

"Geez you guys…" This wasn't what Liese had intended to start. She was just trying to tell a harmless story, and now the two girls were taking it more seriously than she had thought they would. "You must have really liked the legend if you are asking all these specific questions."

The two girls continued to look on her, waiting for a proper answer.

"No." She stated very simply. No sighs, no sad looks, nothing. It was just an answer. "But I suppose that the moral of the story is that it takes a while to find that half doesn't it?" She poured the two a cup of tea, refilling her own as well. "Isn't that right Annie?" She winked innocently, as though she were dropping a hint.

Annie caught this and wasn't sure what she meant. "I guess… um, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing! ~" She answered teasingly.

"Don't tease Annie!" Fitz exclaimed.

The scene continued in front of Annie, as Fitz got angry at the big sister, and Liese was calmly trying to explain herself, Annie had only one thought to herself.

_Glad I'm the middle sister._

_ShinyFriday_

_Just a quick chapter to remind you guys I'm still alive. :D_

_I heard this legend when watching Xena and again on Bones. I loved it to little itty bitty pieces. I thought it would be perfect for Liese to tell since she's so knowledgeable and stuff. Plus, she does have to teach Annie a few things about love. Fitz was here to show that I didn't forget her. ^^; I already used Liese and Annie, so I thought this time we should add Fitz for comedic effect._

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	5. The Gang: Thanksgiving

"Hey Annie! I brought the potatoes like you asked!" Fitz greeted as she opened the door the recently cleaned workshop. She gave her "big sister" a hug before taking a seat.

Annie smiled, "Thanks Fitz. You're actually pretty early, but Liese and Kyle should be here soon enough." She was occupied with roasting the turkey. Before living on her own, she never had to do this, but that was years ago and now she was an adult. She had to take some responsibility for her diet. "By the way, where are your parents?"

"They had to go do business off the island…" Fitz sighed sadly, eyes glazed with a sadness that was rare to see, "And they asked if I could stay and watch the restaurant while they were gone."

"Oh…"

Fitz smiled softly, "It's ok though. We had our own celebration before they left, so I don't mind."

"That's nice…" Annie's eyes crawled up to the unopened envelope that she just received this morning. It was from her parents, from whom she hadn't seen in a while. They would occasionally write to her, asking how she was doing and if she was still an alchemist. She hadn't bothered to look at it because she was still feeling a bit nostalgic just from seeing it.

"..nnie. Annie! The turkey is going to burn if you don't watch it!" Pepe's shrill voice shocked her back into reality, and she turned her attention back to the bird.

"Right. Thanks."

S~+~F

An hour and a half later, Annie's friends had been gathered around the small wooden table. Kilbert and Kyle argued over who should get the larger chair, because neither liked the idea of being cramped or listening to Pepe's long speeches on why they should give up on their action figures. Gillian and Liese were deep into conversation about the latest gossip on Sera Island… or rather, Liese was talking about what was happening while Gillian complained about having to listen to it. Beaux and Hans were having an argument about Beaux's work. And Pepe and Fitz had their own argument about their heights… again.

Annoyed by the chaotic atmosphere, Annie chimed her mini gong she kept in case of emergencies like this. Everyone was taken aback by how powerful the sound was. As everyone groaned words of pain, Annie cheerfully made her announcement. "Ok you guys. Before we eat, you have to say one thing you are most thankful for."

"I am thankful for food!" Kilbert and Kyle cried.

Pepe stared at them disbelievingly. "I think she meant one at a time. And since it was her idea, Annie has to go first."

"Aw man!" Annie moaned. "Ok, fine, fine. I am most thankful for mini gongs."

"Seriously?" Pepe raised an eyebrow.

"…Yeah."

"That is so stupid."

Annie pouted, "Oh yeah? What are you most thankful for then, _Master_ Pepe?"

Pepe pulled a white object out and placed them over his ears. "Earmuffs."

"That's way worse than mine."

"Sorr-y! Can't hear you!"

Before the two could begin another argument, Hans interrupted. "I am thankful for all of my friends. Even if you guys are a little… out there."

"Aww! That's so sweet!" Annie attempted to give him a sideways hug, but it was difficult considering that they were sitting. Liese giggled as Hans turned his face away and Annie looked at her confused.

"I was just about to say." Liese continued laughing, "You guys make this island much more interesting to be on. I am thankful that my parents haven't found me here again."

Before Kyle could make a comment, Kilbert shouted his thoughts aloud. "I am thankful for food! Take that, Kyle!"

Gillian started bouncing in her seat, "Ooh, ooh! I am glad for the creation of medical juice!"

Beaux and Fitz announced that they were also thankful for food, to everyone's dismay. Kyle decided that he was thankful for robots. And with that, everyone started passing the turkey and potatoes around.

S~+~F

"Geez, how are you guys already stuffed?" Kilbert complained as he saw everyone get up from the table to lounge on the more comfortable furniture.

Beaux mumbled unintelligibly, "The question is, how aren't you?"

Kilbert's roaring laugh made everyone groan, "These are only seconds!"

"Try fifths!" Annie replied bitterly.

Somehow, Gillian was also not completely full. "The food is too good to stop eating! Although the turkey is slightly overroasted."

"..Sorry."

"Hey, don't eat too much!" Fitz huffed, "We still have dessert."

Gillian and Kilbert dropped their forks when the word was mentioned. "Bring out the dessert! Bring out the dessert!" They chanted energetically.

"Ok, okay!" Annie rolled her eyes, "Just stop yelling…" Hans and Fitz helped her clear the table off and placed the leftovers in small tubs. Inside the refrigerator were three small pies, a carton of ice cream and a can of whipped cream. The adventuring duo were giddily bouncing in their seats. "Calm down…"

Everyone was seated back at the table, fully recovered from their stomachs. Annie was amazed by this, but said nothing as the desserts were spread out. She herself was anxious to stuff herself with ice cream anyway… "By the way, you two are starting an adventure business right?" She pointed her spoon at them.

"Ahem, the term is _adventure team_, Annie." Kilbert corrected her. "And yes." Annie rolled her eyes before listening to their first adventure.

"Actually, now that you bring that up, I may actually need your help." Annie sighed. "There have been problems at the Hotel… _Weird_ problems. If you guys want to help, that'd be great."

"We'll do it!"

"Hold it!" Beaux objected, "Why are you asking them and not _me?"_

Hans answered this one, "Because you'll get lost before you'll even get outside the city."

He shrunk in his seat defeated, "True, true."

The rest of the night was spent over ridiculous discussions of which holiday was the best, who made the best adventure team, and action figures.

Mostly, they talked about Kilbert and Kyle's action figures…

S~+~F

_Kind of a really random oneshot. But I felt sad that I didn't get to write a Halloween oneshot, and because of my inconsistency, I decided to write a Thanksgiving oneshot ahead of time. So happy early Thanksgiving!_

_Also, something I want to clarify._

_The tidbit about the Hotel will be mentioned in my adventure series with Kilbert and Gillian. I just have to write it first. And Annie and Hans will be there too. :D_

_Mkay, that's all for now. I once again apologize for my laziness, but I have many ideas again, so all I have to do is just get them down._

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	6. An Annie Short: In Which She's a Mom

"Annie! You've got mail!" Pepe's voice rang out from the front of the workshop.

The dark haired alchemist sighed before letting out a worn out "Coming!" Ever since becoming the Meister, she had received way too much mail from anonymous sources. To say the least, it was very frustrating considering that she didn't even know half these people.

And most of them referred to her as a "_Mr. Eilenberg."_

One of the letters definitely caught her eye. The handwriting was very big and fancy, and even had her full name on the paper. There was a gold printed stamp on the back, so she knew it had to be important. _Perhaps I'll be offered that loan I wanted!_ She smiled in satisfaction before she grabbed a knife, carefully tearing the paper that prevented her from reading its contents.

_Dear Mrs. Eilenberg,_

"Mrs…Eilenberg?" Annie looked at it cautiously for a moment, before shrugging and rereading the letter.

_We would like to offer your son, Pepe, the chance of a lifetime to study abroad in our ALCHEMISTS ON BOARD program…._

"What!"

**~SF~**

_This is actually based off of something that happened to me. O.o I'm serious. I guess either my mom is actually me or she's a grandma… (Aren't I too young to adopt though?)_

_Sorry it's so short. Really, really short. But I was kind of thinking of when Kyle confused Annie being Pepe's mother. To say the least, I don't think I needed to say that much._


	7. Liese, Kil, Gil, Hans and Fitz: Tales

_Once upon a time, in a magical place called Magic that was so magical and that's why it got its name-_

"Kilbert, why are you trying to make the introduction run-on?" Hans shot the adventurer sitting on the big velvet recliner a wary glance. Every time they let him tell a story, he always found a way to stretch it and never get to the real point.

Kilbert chuckled, before realizing that he had nothing to say. So Gillian offered something in his place. "Come on Hans! It makes the story much more exciting!"

"No." Fitz commented from the floor. "It makes it repetitive and boring. Now get to the story."

"Hmph, no one appreciates a good build-up."

_There lived a little girl named Little Red Riding Hood. She had long red hair which she always wore in a ponytail with a black ribbon, and a red and white printed dress that she-_

"Geez, Kilbert, that sounds a lot like me." Liese giggled from her spot on the floor.

"Uh, no." Kilbert argued pointlessly, "Any resemblance between these characters and ourselves is just pure coincidence. Even if they do share our names. And interests!" He said a little too quickly.

"Ahem!" Fitz cleared her throat as a sign to continue on. Kilbert didn't know this, however. "Are you ok, Fitz? Maybe you should go to bed."

"I'm. Fine. Now continue the story."

_One day, she was going to visit her sick grandmother, and brought a basket full of apples and cake. Mmm. Cake…. On her way there, she encountered a big, bad wolf. He had long dark hair, and a scar on his face. "Hi there little girl, won't you give me your basket?"_

"_Little girl? Please. I'm almost your height. And besides, you don't know what's in this basket."_

_The wolf let out a high-pitcher roar. "That's ok. As long as it is nothing poisonous, it won't really matter to me. Now if you please, THE BASKET!"_

"_Um, no. You see, I have to give this to my grandma who's sick in bed and- I'm going to regret telling you this later, so I'm just going to leave without saying anything else." And the girl continued down the path to the old woman's house._

_But the wolf, being stronger, faster, prettier and-_

"Hey Kil, why are you trying to make the wolf better than Little Red Riding Hood?" Gillian interrupted.

"Uh, that's because-"

"I thought you said that the characters had _no_ resemblance to us, whatsoever." Hans chimed in.

_Was able to get to the sick grandmother's house before the girl could. Once he did, he stuffed the grandma into a closet and put on her bedclothes._

_The girl entered. "Wait, wait, wait. You expect me to believe that this is my grandma?"_

"I mean seriously," Liese interjected, "My grandma doesn't even look like Hans."

Hans heard that comment and immediately jolted for the book. "They made _me_ the grandmother? What's wrong with people! Do they not understand that I am a _boy?"_

_The girl continued the scenario like nothing happened, and approached the bed with the basket in hand. "Why Grandma, are you ok? Your hands seem to have grown."_

"_Why, why, it's nothing dearie. All in your imagination." The "grandma" wrinkled their nose, "Hold it! I am the greatest adventurer of our time! Why would I say "dearie" to _anyone_?"_

"I don't know Kil." Gillian shrugged, "Maybe you felt like it that day."

_But the girl did not stop there. "And your eyes are wider than saucers! And your nose and- Hey! You're not my grandma!"_

_The wolf froze in bed, crooked smile on his face. Then he changed to a look in concentration. "Are you sure? Because I've been having identity issues lately and I just want to get back on track with my life."_

_The real grandmother broke the door down and ran to protect her darling (that's another word I'd never use) granddaughter from the wolf. _

Hans seethed in the corner of the room listening to this.

"_Back you demon! Back!"_

"I would never say such a-"

_And then, a beautiful lumberjack came flying into the window. She had pretty purple hair and jade green eyes. "There you are my precious Percy!" She snuggled the giant wolf, rubbing cheeks. "Now you come home so we can have some juice."_

_Percy gulped, scared for his life. "J-Juice? You know, now that I think of it, I don't think I'm hungry or thirsty anymore."_

_The lumberjack laughed "Come on Percy! You won't grow big and strong if you don't drink your juice! Let's go!" She managed to throw the wolf over her shoulder and- what!_

"Gillian couldn't carry me! I'm _Kilbert Hennes!"_ Kil let out another roaring laugh and posed to express his inner heroitude.

"What are you guys doing?" Pepe mumbled from his hammock, where he was taking a nap the entire time. "I'm trying to sleep…"

"Shut up!" Fitz exclaimed. "I just want to hear the end of the story!"

Kil sighed, sad that he was being ignored yet again.

_And so everyone that wasn't the wolf got all the cake and apples that they wanted, and lived happily ever after. What they don't know is that Percy will have his revenge because he is that awesome. He was trying to make them think they were better than him, but that was a lie. He's a wolf. And the greatest adventurer ever and-_

Kilbert continued to ramble on and on with his story of Percy the great wolf, which closely resembled to him. "Geez, Kil. I didn't know you felt that passionate about this…"

Hans, still mad that he was the grandma, had left halfway close to the ending, and Fitz managed to fall asleep. Liese was nowhere in sight.

"Shut UP!" Kilbert fell to the floor, pillow on top of his face and went to sleep.

_The End._

_~S+F~_

_This was inspired by watching Winnie-the-Pooh. The children's TV show for champions. :)_

_If you didn't understand the different use of texts:_

_Italic – Narrator or Characters in the story_

Regular - Normal

_It's fairly complicated for me as a writer but I still hope you enjoyed. :)_

_And thanks to all my readers so far. Hope you guys have a great new year. ^^_

_:)Emi-tan:)_


	8. Gillian: Not an Obsession

"_It only takes one time for it to become an obsession."_

Whole-hearted giggles were coming from the small kitchenette of Gillian's fairly sized home. She lay on the floor, hair cascaded and bottles about.

Yes, it had happened again.

But it was _not_ an obsession.

…Really.

Maybe it was just an addictive habit!

_Well, whatever!_ She ignored the tedious voice of reason in her head. _I have the day off tomorrow anyway! So I can do whatever I want!_

She's pushing herself off the floor at the point, still a bit giddy and intoxicated… if it was possible to get drunk from her medical juice. What did she even put in these drinks anyway…? From what her remembered before her short attention span took over, it was mostly bitter tasting herbs that she mixed in with supplements she stole from Annie.

And by that, she meant "borrowed without permission."

Then again, the poor girl never really noticed, so Gillian really wasn't that ashamed anyway.

_Obsessive._

Gillian groaned at the voice again. She hated when that word was used.

_This has become an obsession._

"Nuh-uh!~"

She knew that arguing childishly with herself was not very productive at all, and that her father would have held it against her.

But really, who was she kidding if she thought work ethic was in her dictionary?

"Silly conscience. I can quit _whenever_ I want!~" She returned to another fit of giggles, followed by fierce concentration of juice mixing. She felt creative, adding coffee beans and tea leaves together for a crazy combination that would blow everyone's taste buds! The thought pleased her, and she could not longer prevent the wicked cackles that were threatening to take over. 

_Would everyone be in for a treatment tomorrow….!_

_~SF~_

_A short Gillian drabble inspired by Colbie Cailliat's "Midnight Bottle"_

_It's more of a cutesy song really than an angsty one, so that's why I made Gillian more giddy than depressed._

_Originally, I planned for another fairy tale or to use a two part OC, but I scrapped those ideas when I was obsessively listening to CC. Can't wait for her new album! It's July 12 or 13, me thinks. _

_Anyway, Secret Princess is coming along nicely, and this shall be occasionally updated. I thank you for patience._

_:D Emi-tan :D_


	9. Annie, Liese, Gil and Kil: Prank Squad

_Warning: This specific one shot may be K+ or T rated due to later violence. Depends on how you look at it._

Annie sighed in disappointment. "It's no use! None of these books are going to help me get my revenge." She had read from cover to cover books on the basics of pranking ever since the "plunk'd" episode in the Plaza, hoping to gain her vengeance of Kilbert and Hans. Fitz could get away with it, since Pepe "annoyed" her endlessly, but even with that out of her mind, she had no idea as to how to go about it. "If only there was someone with a maniacal enough mind to help with this…"

Right on cue, Liese Randel walked into the Atelier, bored out of her mind. "Hello." She took immediate notice of Annie's prank books piled on the desk. "Prank books? Annie, aren't you a little old to be pulling pranks?"

She was cut off by Annie's sobs. "Lieeeeese! You _have _to help get my revenge on Kyle and Hans!"

"Revenge? What did they do?"

"A few months ago, Fitz and Kyle came up with a comedy sketch without me knowing. Later on, Hans joined in, and they made me think I was going to be arrested for conspiring with Kyle in illegal mechanical practices." Annie sniffled, "I swore I'd get my revenge, but I just don't have it in me, I suppose…"

Liese patted the girl is assurance. "Hey, don't worry about it. I can totally help you out if you want, and I know Kilbert and Gillian have wanted to do something for a while as well." She stood up and peered out the window, "Speaking of which, here they come now."

Annie had never been more terrified of Kilbert in her life when she saw him stomp into the workshop. She swore the whole building was going to fall down on her. She'd have to complain to Hans about that next time…

Gillian, on the other hand, looked miserable and exhausted. _She must have been caught slacking off again._ _I guess the Captain made her stay behind and do some extra physical work or something…_ "Annieeee! I need you to use your alchemy powers to get back at Hans."

"No way! Messing with Kyle is more important right now! He gave me a fake mechanical sword and stole my Golem Boy!" He stomped his right foot like a child, "THIS IS UNFORGIVEABLE!"

Gillian and Kilbert began a squabble, while Annie continued to look furiously through her prank books, seeing if there was anything she missed. Liese, of course, was stuck in the midst of it, completely ignored. "Everyone." No response. "Everyone." Again, no response. So what was a girl to do but borrow her friend's mini gong? The sound of the clash made everyone give their immediate attention to the rosette. "Thank you. Now gather around. I have a plan that everyone can help with and be happy." The four gathered in a huddle to discuss their nefarious plots of vengeance.

~SF~

The next day, Gillian and Annie were hiding out on the side of the Headquarters, waiting for Kilbert and Liese to arrive on the scene.

"Why do _I _have to wear a bear costume?" Kilbert grumbled. "I wanted to be a lion! Then I could roar like a king!" The costume was a disgusting brown color, and was incredibly scratchy and smelly. It was the only thing that actually resembled a bear, however, so Kilbert was stuck in it.

"Kilbert!" Annie tried to shush him. "You'll give it away. Now go hide in the bushes until Liese gets here!"

The adventurer pouted but did as he was told, and the lady alchemist arrived not much later. "You guys know the plan, right?" The girls nodded. "Don't go in until we get him out here. Annie, remember where the key is. And Kilbert?"

"Hm?"

"Don't go completely overboard."

The trio nodded, and Liese walked in through the main entrance. The typically busy man was nowhere in sight, so Liese assumed he was either in a meeting or in his office. Thankfully, Daniel was around and certainly, he would know where Hans was. "Excuse me, Daniel. Have you seen Hans today?"

The small man, slightly embarrassed to be addressed by such a lovely lady fumbled with his pocket, nearly dropping everything. "O-Oh yes! He's in his office, I-I believe. Please make sure to knock first."

She nodded, "Thank you." She made her way to the oak door. Inside, Hans had just settled down into his paper work, taking occasional sips of his morning coffee. Liese quickly forged an irritated face and pounded on the door. "Hans Arlens, you open this door _right now_!"

Hans, completely indulged in his work, was terrified by the woman's pierce voice. "L-Liese? What is it?"

She huffed, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

"A-A joke…?"

She started going off on a tangeant, "Because honestly, that scarred _me_ for life!" She darted towards him, gripping him by the collar of his shirt. "_Think of the children._" The result was awkward, terror and confusion on Hans' face. "If you don't do something about it, I'm calling my lawyer."

"L-Lawyer? Liese, what is going on?"

"Your cheap little gimmick of an advertisement, that's what!" She snarled, "It's completely out of control, you moron! Now go do something about it before I make you!"

He gulped, not completely sure of what was happening. He attempted to keep a strong-minded act for his own sake though, "Um, where-where is this…_problem_?"

Huffing, Liese began walking out the door. "Follow me, I'll _show_ you." Reluctantly, the duo walked out of the building, as Annie and Gillian waited for the perfect moment to storm in. Hans' attention was completely on the _distraction_, so the girls took the chance to dash through the building, each going around and about to throw off anyone who would tamper with their plan. Finally reaching the office, Annie looked both ways to make sure no one was looking.

"Did you bring the juice?"

Gillian nodded, "Although I don't get how this is supposed to prank Hans. I bet he'll be delighted by this creation."

Annie pretended to agree for Gillian's sake. She ducked down and inspected a pot. Hans kept an extra key buried in the top two centimeters of the soil, which she unearthed easily. She slid the key into the lock. "Bingo. Let's go."

Meanwhile, Kilbert was causing massive panic in the square, letting out loud roars and hugging random people that passed on the street. "You see Hans? DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?" Liese nearly shrieked at the shocked man. "NOW FIX IT! There won't be any sales until this is resolved!" She stormed off, masking a giggle or two, while Hans stood awe-struck at the "bear."

"E-Excuse me, sir!" Hans called out to him, "You are disturbing the peace! You must move along now!" Clearly, however, the bear refused to do so, continuing to prance about, enjoying the torment of the townspeople. "Hey! I told you to knock it off!" At that point, the bear let out an irritated growl, and leaped toward Hans. Hans, terrified for his life, fled the scene, being pursued by the "animal."

Inside, Gillian managed to remove the lid from Hans' coffee cup. It was half full, so she could only pour in so much without him noticing. When satisfied, she and Annie reenacted their "secret entrance" to get out of the building. "Do you think he'll be okay, Gillian?"

"Oh don't worry, Annie!" Gillian replied cheerfully, "Kilbert is a big softie at heart!"

_I was referring to the juice…_

Liese had been waiting behind the fountain during the duration of the chase, laughing whenever Hans and Kilbert came by. "Hans is certainly going to be in for a treat, now isn't he?" The girls giggled almost viciously. "Phase one is complete. Kilbert will be back soon enough, and then we can begin phase two."

~SF~

Hans had managed to escape the terrifying bear and hide in his office. He had no idea what to do about the "bear" on his own, so perhaps Beaux could have been of some help? He would have to track down the lonesome wanderer later; he still had paperwork to do, and for all he knew, the bear had probably left town. He layed back into the chair, trying to relax and reason with himself. For all he knew, it was just some guy in a costume! And it's not like he didn't do anything about it; he reported the situation as soon as he got back!

_I'm going crazy_, he reasoned with himself. _Let's just have some coffee and get back to work._ He gripped the green cup and took a slow sip… before spitting it out. "What the-? What _is _this?" He took another taste of the bitter mix. "It tastes like something Gillian made!" The realization dawned upon him quickly. He took a quick sniff, and concluded that Gillian had somehow tampered with his drink. _It must have happened when I left with Liese… but I swore I locked my office! And no one else knows where the other key is except Annie…_ He began to piece it all together…"It was a trick!" He fumed. Liese must have roped the girls and one other person into this. He only knew two people that were big enough to pass for a bear…

"Kilbert."

He began to scribble on the paper in frustration, completely deep in thought as to the situation at hand. "Annie, I swear, you're in for it next time…!"

~SF~

Kilbert, bored of chasing Hans, decided it was time to plot the next phase; Kyle's House. Although not a part of the plan, Kilbert decided to add somethings in. First, he wanted to wear his bear costume again. Reluctantly, the girls agreed. He also wanted to toilet paper the house. They refused him this, but he ignored them, and brought a kiddy sized potato shooter, and several rolls of toilet paper.

"Hey guys, since I'm not actually important right now, can I help Kil with the toilet paper?" Gillian begged the two alchemists, "I don't have any mechanical expertise whatsoever anyway, so you two are better off doing it on your own…"

"That's fine. I have a little something else I wanted to do myself." Liese held a cookie-sized audio chip. It was dark blue and very odd looking. "It's supposed to be like a recorder, and then you can play it back later. I have something Kyle might like to hear." She put the recorder in her pocket and grabbed the bright red tool box from Annie. "If Kyle gets back early, Kilbert is back on distraction duty, and Gillian, you should hide so he doesn't suspect anything else."

"Everyone into position!" Annie declared, and the pairs split off. The two alchemists rushed to the back door of Kyle's humble abode, where Liese skillfully picked the lock in twenty seconds flat. _Note to self: Liese is more deceiving than she appears._ Once inside, the two began to tinker with the appliances in his kitchen and bathroom. Annie particularly enjoyed tampering with the sinks, as she wanted Kyle to be sprayed in the face. Meanwhile, Liese messed with his record player, and took various things from his room; Kilbert's Golem Boy, his Mr. Machine Mach V, some of his blueprints, and a ribbon that he stole from her. Once satisfied, the two retreated to the back door to meet up with the adventurers.

Annie smirked in satisfaction at the sight of the toilet paper. "Nice job you guys. Now let's get going before he gets back."

Kilbert shook his head. "I think I'll stay here and mess with his mind. Have a nice life, you guys." He attempted to sneak in through the windows, which ended with some apparent success, other than a hard knock on the head.

Liese matched Annie's smirk. "Phase two is complete. Phase three begins now."

~SF~

Kyle was not convinced someone was in his house when he got home. Not even when he saw all the toilet paper in his trees. He simply assumed he had redecorated in his sleep. He had sleepwalking problems anyway, so that must have been it. He wasn't even slightly concerned by the snores he heard coming from his living room…

…until he saw that it was a bear.

To make sure he wasn't completely crazy, he ran to his bathroom to splash himself with cold water. However, the faucet splashed the water at his glorious zipper coat! _The plumber must have been tampering with my house again!_ Oh, how he despised plumbers! But right now he had to deal with a 200 pound plus bear in his living room.

He approached the bear casually, because who wouldn't? Treating a bear like you are afraid of it clearly sent it the wrong message. "Hey Mr. Bear! Would you like some dinner?"

"Mr. Bear" nodded his head feverously, forgetting his current activity (breaking Kyle's dishes). "What would you like to eat?"

At that moment, the bear jumped on top of Kyle and began biting his arm. "M-Mr. BEAR! Please! We can solve this without resorting to violence!" The bear got up to let out a roar, giving Kyle the chance to flee for his life. While running around the neighborhood, he ran into Hans on his way home. "HANS! I've never been happy to see you until now!"

"That's a polite way of greeting someone…"

Kyle started shaking the boy, "There's a bear coming after me! YOU HAVE TO HELP."

"A bear, huh?" Hans said, definitely not convinced. "Kyle, you need to know that's just-"

"The bear" had found them at that moment, and Kyle dragged him along. They eventually found themselves on the outskirts of town, hiding in a tree…

~SF~

Back in Annie's workshop, the three girls were having the time of their lives, dancing to records Liese had brought and eating Annie and Liese's cooking. Liese and Gillian were singing the chorus of a song nearly at the top of their lungs, while Annie jammed a little bit while trying to fix their dinner.

"Alright, that was probably the most fun I've ever had!" Annie sighed happily. "Liese, I can't thank you enough for your help." Gillian nodded in agreement. "But what happens if they decided to counter-prank us?"

Liese shrugged. "I wouldn't really worry about that. They won't think about it until a _very_ long period of time."

"So you guys wanna sleepover?"

"Of course!" The three comrades gathered around the table for dinner, Pepe absent because he was ordering out for himself, annoyed by the gathering.

Meanwhile, Kyle clutched to Hans, as he watched "the bear" perform a rain dance around the trunk of the tree.

"I told you Kyle, that's just Kilbert in a bear costume… NOW GET OFF OF ME."

"No, no, no, no, no! I am NOT crazy! Besides, Kilbert wouldn't resort to cannibalism!"

Hans spent the entire night trying to leave, each attempt thwarted by either Kyle or Kilbert. After that, Kyle had nightmares of bears doing rain dances.

~SF~

_FINALLY. SCHOOL IS OUT. I'M GOING TO BE A JUNIOR EVERYBODY!_

_This oneshot has various inspirations including:_

_-The iCarly episode "iGet Pranky," especially the "Joke Is On You" montage. Also, the Psych episode where Shawn gets into a kid's karate class by convincing one of the workers that he will sue the school for "discrimination" and "agism" and one scene of Haruhi I saw where she got a computer by planting evidence of sexual harassment._

_-pepperpizzapal suggested a while back that I do a sequel to the "Annie gets plunk'd" scene in the game. I kept pushing it off, since I am not too good at revenge and pranking people. But as I said, watching "iGet Pranky" gave me some ideas. However, I decided not to add Fitz because I don't think Annie would try to prank her. I thought I saw one scene where Fitz was upset with something Pepe did to her…? It was just easier to write with Hans and Kyle as victims._

_Anyway, I got all of my favorite characters on the Prank Squad chapter! …And Kyle._

_PLEASE LISTEN TO "THE JOKE IS ON YOU" FROM iGET PRANKY. It's awesome. :D_


	10. Tales ii Part i

"Why are we doing this _again_?" Fitz huffed, settled on the white stone floor of the workshop, "I was doing something."

Kilbert laughed, "Yeah, because standing around waving a feather duster is that important!"

"I was _cleaning_ my family's restaurant, you big lug!"

Gillian whimpered from her corner of the room, "_Kil_? Why did you drag me here? If Captain knows I'm skipping again, I'll lose my weekends forever!"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I told him you were helping me with a super special mission to fix the forest or something. I think he bought it."

"Really?"

Fitz remarked, "Only a complete idiot would buy that theory."

Kilbert roared in outrage, "Are you calling me an idiot or something, Fitz? Because if you don't want to be here, you can just leave!"

"This isn't even your house, you moron!" she screeched back, "And you still haven't told us why you made us come in the first place!"

His face fell, "Oh yeah. Well, we have to wait for Hans and Liese anyway. I have a big announcement to make."

And soon enough, the blonde committee member and the rosette alchemist made their way into the workshop, not quite aware that the owner wasn't actually there, but instead, Kilbert with a thick red story book full of fairy tales. Hans immediately looked unimpressed.

"Please tell me we are not reading those again."

"Tch, _we're_ not reading these," Kilbert said proudly, "_I_ am. You see, I have to practice before my big challenge against Kyle."

"You're challenging Kyle?" Liese asked uneasily, and happily, Kilbert nodded his head, "To what, a fairy-tale-off?"

"Fairy tale off?" Hans asked snidely.

"Don't judge me, I just figured that's something he would say."

Completely unaware what the two were discussing, Kilbert replied, "_Yes_, Lisette. A fairy tale off."

"Don't call me Lisette," she nearly hissed, "If anyone hears that, I'll be deported in a week. You just have to stick with Liese."

"Ugh, fine," he sighed impatiently, "Now that you're done demanding things from me, then I will tell you today's story," he pointed to a small red rug in front of a wooden rocking chair. On the rug was a ceramic plate covered with Puffs, "Over there with Fitz and Gillian! And make sure to eat as many Puffs as humanely possible. I want to see how angry Pepe will get when he finds that they are missing again."

Dumbfounded, the four stared at him, but settled in front of the rocker. Gillian bravely asked, "So what story are you going to tell us today, Kilbert?"

"You should know, Gillian. Since you're the heroine and everything," he cleared his throat and began.

_Once upon a time, there was this country that was old and stuff. Its name was Orde, and was known for being peaceful and famous for its alchemists. That was why the Hans clan attacked._

Hans snarled, "The _what_ clan?"

Kilbert did a double clan, "The Hans clan," the blonde grit his teeth, smiling dangerously. Kilbert objected, "Hey, it's _not_ my fault! Blame whoever wrote this book for giving you such roles."

_So because of them, Orde ordered one man from each family to join the war. Why did they not want women? Beats me. _

The four again stared dumbfounded at him.

"I swear, that's what it says!" he flashed the page from the book.

"He's totally right!" Gillian exclaimed, pointing to the exact line, "That's the weirdest thing ever!"

"I'm beginning to really wonder if this is even a real book," Liese muttered thoughtfully, "Please continue, Kilbert."

_In the mean time, there was another problem, albeit, not really as important as war. A young woman with purple hair and dark, copper skin was having preparations made to see a matchmaker and finally be married off to some guy she didn't even know. _

_"Father!" she cried to a bulking, blonde haired man with a straight face, "I don't _want _to meet a match! It's going to be completely boring and stuff, and I'd rather play- I, uh, mean _work_ with my medical herbs!"_

_He sighed and said, "Gillian Rose, you are twenty-one now. Most women your age are married with children. It's true you've suffered some... disadvantages, but I think it is time for you to begin your adult life. That is why we have hired this matchmaker; to help find you a great man to marry."_

_"But _Father!"

_But he would not hear any other objections from his daughter. So a tiny, green-clad fairy walked through the door, hoping to get the entire situation over with. He asked her a few basic questions like what she should she do if the Hans clan came to invade her home. With a straight face she declared, "I would totally kick their asses to the other side of the country! A girl has to defend herself, you know?"_

_The matchmaker grumbled something before calling her father in._

_"She should join the army. Have her dress up as a man, because for whatever reason, they don't want women involved with fighting. Have her take this," He gave her father a scroll and her a slight nod, "Good luck."_

_And with that, Gillian, who was renamed Gil, went to join Orde's army as a new recruit. She ended up in the unit of a totally, awesome hunk named Captain Kilbert._

His eyes widened in awe, "Guys, I'm a _captain_ in this story!" he squealed delightfully, "That's way better than last time when I was a wolf!"

"I don't know Kil," Gillian argued, "Your name was cuter last time. Percy is a way better name than Captain Kilbert."

"Why is he a captain anyway?" Hans asked.

"Don't be _jealous_, Hans," Kilbert said smugly, "By the way, you all have to call me Captain Kilbert from now on."

"Um, no," Fitz spat.

He sunk back into his chair detestably.

_This was Capt. Kilbert's first time leading an army of sorts, so he had to take the time to train them and get to know them as fighters. And they were really bad. There was a boy of eighteen who was too skinny and always got lost when he was more than five meters away from the group. There was a red-haired boy of seventeen who was spiteful and lazy due to being rich and getting whatever he wanted. Because of this, he often picked on poor Gil because he didn't look manly enough. But one day, Capt. Kilbert had enough._

_"Alright you lazy bone!" he objected angrily, "It looks like I'm going to have to take a different approach to get you to earn more power!" he tore off the the top part of his armor, revealing his bare chest._

_"Um, Captain," Gil squeaked, "What are you doing? Is that really necessary and stuff?"_

_"What's wrong, Gil?" the red head taunted, "Afraid of how manly the captain will look compared to you?"_

"Wait, is that supposed to be Julian?" Liese interrupted, "Why is he of all people in this story?"

Kilbert, Gillian and Fitz exchanged a weird look, "Who's Julian?"

"He's from the famed Fanile family from another country," Hans explained, "Annie had problems dealing with him during the contest. He has a bit of an attitude problem."

Fitz scowled, "He sounds like a jerk. If I ever meet him, I ought to punch him in the face."

Liese giggled, "I don't think you need to do anything that drastic. He's just a kid."

_The Captain continued the strangeness, suddenly breaking out into song:_

_"Let's get down to business/to defeat/_HANS!_"*_

"Kilbert, I swear, I.."

_On the other side of the border, a skinny blonde was accompanied by his skinny, brunette companion, who resembled a twelve-year-old boy. She was actually a twenty year old woman. The man sneezed._

_"Someone is talking about me, _again_."_

_The woman retorted, "I think you're just being paranoid."_

_"What was that you said?" he glared evilly._

_"U-Um, nothing, Sir Hans, sir."_

Fitz growled at Hans, "What are you doing to Annie, you jerk?"

He sputtered back, "Fitz, don't be ridiculous. It's just a story."

"Yeah, Fitz! He's totally got a crush on Annie, anyway!"

"_Gillian_!"

"Oopsie," Gillian laughed nervously, "I didn't know that was supposed to be a secret."

"As if," Fitz countered, "Everyone knew that the whole time. It's so obvious."

Kilbert gaped, "I didn't know that! Why didn't you guys tell me! Have you been meeting in secret or something? Is there some sort of 'No-Kilbert-allowed-club?' Cause if so, I want in!"

Liese smiled awkwardly, "Why don't you just continue?"

_So they shirtless captain continued to sing, miraculously making his soldiers much more efficient in using fireworks, bombs and spears to destroy their enemies. Also, the blonde secretly wrote love letters to his brunette companion, but hid them in the snow._

Hans scowled from his spot on the floor. Kilbert frowned.

"So even the book knew before me about this?" he yelled, frustrated, "That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Just drop it!" Hans yelled back.

_So ANYWAY, the army finally met up with the Hans clan and the epic battle of all time occurred; fireworks were flying, bombs were exploding and Gil even kicked Hans in the jaw! And trust me, taking a kick to the jaw hurts. A lot._

_But he still revealed that she was actually a girl. So she pushed him in the snow._

"I'm so cool in this story!" Gillian squealed happily, "What else do I do, Kil?"

_"You're a girl?" Capt. Kilbert gawked, "But girls are supposed to be back in Orde so the prince has a wider range of women to pick from to marry!"_

_"But I don't want to get married, now!" she cried back her response, "Not until I meet someone who can drink my medical juice without saying it tastes bad!"_

_The brunette companion asked, "Will it heal Hans?"_

_"Um, why would we want to do that?" Capt. Kilbert asked incredulously._

_Gillian ignored him, saying, "Of course it will! As long as he's willing to come back to the country and pay for his crimes."_

_"Oh, cool!"_

_And with that everything was settled. Gillian came back to Orde a heroine, and because the prince decided he was not ready to find his wife yet, women were allowed to join the army. Also, Capt. Kilbert was named the world's coolest captain ever. And Hans found redemption in prison, while his companion had somehow discovered one of his letters in the snow..._

"Stop bringing that up!"

But before the argument could continue on, Annie walked through the door with a grocery bag, unsurprised to see everyone gathered in her workshop, "Why haven't I invested in a lock, by now?" she sighed to herself sadly, setting the bag on the table, "What are you even doing, anyway?"

"We're trying to get Hans to confess to-"

His mouth was clamped shut by Hans' hand. Annie stared blankly.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing important."

She raised an eyebrow, "Yeah. Right. What are you _really_ hiding?"

Gillian piped up, "His secret love for-" his other hand covered her mouth.

"Oh, come on, I want to know!" Annie whined, running over to her friends, and pulling Hans' hands off, "Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"Say _nothing_," Hans hissed.

Liese smiled mischievously, "Just read the book. It will explain everything, Annie."

Immediately, he dove for it, but fell flat on his face, "I will tell people your real name, _Lisette_."

Her triumphant expression quickly disappeared, "Sorry Annie, he's got me beat there."

"No fair," she pouted, "You guys always keep the good secrets from me. Why aren't I allowed to know about...whatever it is you're hiding, anyway?"

"Um, hey, what about me?" Kilbert complained, "I just found out, like, two minutes ago! Apparently, a _book_ knows more about Hans' feelings than I do!"

Fitz stared at the leather-bound book, "We never found out who wrote it anyway."

"I think it was Melody."

The five stared at the brunette alchemist.

"What?"

Hans repeated, "You mean to tell us this whole time, _Melody_ wrote this strange book of fairy tales that for whatever reason has us as characters in it?"

"Yes?"

"Well..." Kilbert asked, trying to break the tension, "_Why_?"

She bit her lip guiltily, "Because... I asked her to. I-I thought it would be funny and stuff, but I didn't _actually_ think she would go and get it published. Heck, I just mentioned it in passing. She didn't even show me any rough drafts or anything, so..."

Kilbert objected, "You're the reason why I was named Percy in _Little Red Riding Hood!_" he crossed his arms over his chest righteously, "As punishment, you must go the rest of your life calling me Captain Kilbert. Say it now for practice."

"Yeah, um, no."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, _no_."

Sometime during the argument, Kyle had managed to sneak into the room, with his own copy of fairy tales glued under his arm, "Hey guys, the totally awesome, happening Kyle is here! I'm having a fairy tale off with Kilbert, and if I win, I get his Golem Boy!"

"Wait a second!" Annie interrupted, "Who said you guys could use my workshop as your personal reading room!"

But neither man responded to her, only glaring at one another competively, "Dream on, Kyle. You are so going down. I just told the greatest story ever. I was a _captain_. You can't beat that."

Kyle rose his glasses up his face with a flick of his finger, "Oh, I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, Kilbert. I have a story that _everyone_ loves to hear. And I've got a great narrating voice for it to," he looked at the four sitting quietly on the carpet, "Do you think you guys can handle _Cinderella?_"

-SF-

_* Borrowed and tweaked from the song "I'll Make A Man Out of You" from Mulan._

**A/N: So...I know it's been like...an eternity since I last updated any story on here. That's because for the most part I've moved on to writing my own stuff. But I really wanted to do at least one more update to this story, because I started this collection at the beginning of my frosh year, and now I'll be graduating. I wanted to have a one shot for each year I was in high school. I'm a major dork that way. Plus, I liked the idea of Kyle and Kilbert trying to be better narrators. Unfortunetly, I need to review the game more. I think I'm rusty when it comes to the characters, but I think I still have the gist.**


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